"I told you so," said James.

Looks like we need to add clairvoyance to James' list of talents.

We were sitting at the Employee Recognition Luncheon and James leans over to ask when I'm getting my award. "Honey, they don't give them to everyone, I'm not getting one today," I tell him as I cheer for the others being recognised.

The room is crowded, and I am very pleased to see three of my employees there. It's meetings like this that help you feel like part of the whole, that help you see what a fabulous organization you are part of.

I'm at a table with the Yoga instructor, her family, James, and on my lap is someone else's kid who wanted some "Miss Thora" time. There is nothing so gratifying as the honest adoration of a child. That's my award, that the kids love me back. That's what tells me each shift that I'm doing something right. I thrive on those hugs, the snuggles, the way they fall asleep on my shoulder, refuse to leave when Mom comes to take them home, or run to me with arms wide.

Working with kids is like getting an award every day, when you put your heart in it, and I do. Last year, watching the award presentation I decided that while I would likely never get those awards, I wanted to do better. I wanted to be better, I wanted to embody the values we uphold. I gave it a valiant effort, and fell short, but the progress I had made was another award in my heart. Self-improvement is it's own reward.

5 years of service awards are handed out. Then 15 years of service goes to my boss, and dear friend. I think of all she has accomplished in 15 years. I wonder where I will be in 15 years and if by then I will have half of her ability to say the right thing.

The spirit award is awarded. It goes to the guy in maintenance that has the best attitude of pretty much anyone I have met. I clap heartily for him, though he isn't there to receive it, he deserves it. He has an eye twinkling smile for everyone who passes as he waxes the floors and changes light bulbs. He's got a can-do attitude, and he does-do asap. What a gem.

But as I clap I hide a secret shame. My heart skipped a beat when the big boss glanced my way just as he called the other guy's name. "Great," I think, now I'm so proud I'm expecting awards.

The big boss (who btw is one of the most amazing, Christian to the core, inspiring people I know) starts reading off the qualifications for Employee of the Year. I continue my self berating as I half listen, simultaneously hugging the little girl on my lap and hoping both of my little girls are behaving for the "family" they are sitting with instead of me.

"It won't be me, it won't be me," I am repeating so loudly in my head that it took a few seconds for my own name to filter through. My jaw drops as the applause erupts around me and somehow I find myself at the front of the room. I hug my bosses as they hand me my award. Then the big boss tells me he's going to make me stand there a minute while he embarrasses me some more. I make a quip about it being a good thing I wore red.

He read the nomination, which was beautifully written and I wish I had a copy of it. I could frame it. No, I wouldn't really frame it. I'd tuck it away for down-days, to pull out when I need reminding that I'm not a horrible person.

When I got back to the table James was ecstatic at his own precognition, and my hands were shaking as I tried to open my gift bag. I always get the worst case of nerves AFTER being in front of people. I wasn't even thinking about what could be in the bag, the recognition had been such a gift already. Someone WAS thinking of what I would want in that bag though, because the gift cards were to MICHAEL'S!

I seriously have the best bosses ever.